Navigating holiday stress with a Grand Rapids holistic trauma coach

GRAND RAPIDS — Holidays are not always the most wonderful time of the year.

Many of us carry family changes and loss, economic uncertainties, political divisions and unrealistic expectations. Noticing how our bodies are reacting is a step toward slowing down.

Kimberly Erickson is a holistic trauma coach with Growing Harmony Within, located in Old Central School in Grand Rapids. She joined the KAXE Morning Show to share tips for how to navigate this time of year.

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Growing Harmony Within

"I think there is this sense of wanting to make magic," Erickson said. "And then that magic seems like it falls on one person's shoulders in the family, oftentimes."

Shoulders can be the physical manifestation of holiday stress, along with tight jaws and stiff necks. Erickson described it as "parts work."

Thursday's KAXE Morning Show co-host Kari Hedlund added, "It's such an interesting thing, because I think stress and grief and these things you feel emotionally live somewhere, but you have a really hard time of translating that to the physical embodiment of your body."

"Parts of us are avoiding feeling," Erickson said. "We can have protective parts that are trying to protect from some of that stuff in our heart, like pain and grief."

Other parts do not feel the stress and might lead us to filling every moment with lists and cooking and cleaning to create an idea of unrealistic perfection.

One tool Erickson recommends is centering, or paying attention to where your energy is in any given moment.

"When we lean forward, when we come forward, we're kind of leaning into someone else's energy and we're sort of maybe taking on a little more of that. And we can feel that it's off center."

She suggests the act of monitoring where you are physically leaning, in or out, can lead to an understanding of what kind of energy may be leading to your stress. Noticing and bringing the body back to center can be a physical reminder of calm.

Another grounding practice involves establishing anchors of safety. These small sensory cues can calm the body and lighten emotional strain.

"It could be music, it could be smell, it could be a rock I'm carrying in my pocket," Erickson said, recommending to make a list of the things that quiet or anchor us. She described how even the smallest thing of holding a hand over your heart can calm the body.

As a coach, Erickson works one-on-one with clients and hosts group coaching sessions, like a recent gathering focused on navigating holiday stress. She shares her holiday toolkit, which includes ideas of how to give a gift to yourself of things like morning coffee alone or a conversation with someone special. In the group, a common theme emerged.

"People are changing, life is changing where we're at, and life has shifted," she said. Some talked about how holiday gatherings were not going to be as large with people spread out, as well as the grief of losing family and friends.

We may not even realize we are taking on different roles during the holidays. These can, if not acknowledged, lead to more stress. Erickson described the roles as people pleaser, perfectionist, protector, nostalgic child, martyr and escapist.

When it comes to the part of the nostalgic child, Erickson described one woman's realization at the holiday stress gathering. She said she wasn't nostalgic for what the past actually was, but what was imagined.

"It was just a powerful realization," she said.

Listen to the full conversation above.

Will your holiday season be different this year? Let us know!