BRAINERD — Outside Lexi Thornton's south Brainerd home, balloons, flowers and stuffed animals are woven into the chain-link fence.
Despite the stifling heat, former neighbors Simone Aune and her son stopped to attach a purple paper heart.
Written on it were words like “talented, smart, beautiful, loving, pretty, unique.”
And “Forever 13.”
Editor's note: This story includes discussion of suicide. If you or someone you know needs help, the national suicide and crisis lifeline in the U.S. is available by calling or texting 988. There is also an online chat at 988lifeline.org
Watching over it all was Lexi's mom, Chantel Smith.
“Brought my baby home in a car seat, and now I brought her home in a box," Smith said through tears Friday, July 17, outside her home.
Thornton died by suicide July 10. Another Brainerd middle schooler killed herself in June. Ava was 11.
In the wake of the young girls' deaths, the Brainerd community is having tough conversations about bullying and mental health.
A small group of women gathered at Wishing Well Therapy Services on Thursday for a community forum.
All the women were district parents. One was a teacher, another a friend of one of the mothers who lost a daughter and another who almost lost her son to suicide herself.
Wishing Well owner Miranda Aulie said the whole town just feels heavy.
"It's just a helpless feeling," she said. "And when you feel that big of hurt within our whole community, it's just that feeling like something has to be done."
The forum was part lesson, part conversation. Aulie and Amber Rosier of Peak Therapy Services explained how to talk to your kids about suicide: Don't shy away from it. Let your kids guide the conversation, and ask them direct questions.
They also spent a lot of time talking about bullying. The parents of Ava and Lexi, the girls who died, say their daughters were bullied.
Smith said Lexi, who was Black, was bullied about her skin tone and appearance.
“They said that her skin color was too dark," she said. "... Or her nose was too big or didn’t fit her face.”
There has been an outpouring of stories and outrage on social media from people upset with how the school district has handled bullying.
Suicide awareness has significantly increased in the Brainerd lakes area in the last decade. At least four organizations — Jacob's Voice, REEL North Alliance, The Lighthouse Project and Smiles for Jake — have been started to raise awareness of related issues like bullying and mental health after area students or recent graduates died by suicide.
But tragedies continue to strike to the core of the community.
"What are we missing?" asked one of the forum attendees.
One thing Aulie noted is that suicide and depression are complicated topics. Experts say there is usually not a single reason or simple explanation.
Aulie also explained how, especially in kids, behaviors are driven by needs. If a kid bullies, it may be driven by a need for power, belonging or control, caused by other things happening in their lives.
That doesn't make the behavior OK, she said, but it's important to understand it.
Aulie and Rosier also learned something from the attendees, who talked about the challenges they've experienced building a supportive community in the Brainerd lakes area.
"So, I immediately was like, 'What can we do differently as a community?'" Rosier said.
Aulie added another next step is to keep having conversations about these difficult topics.
"And sometimes it's a million little steps," she said. "I don't think there's one big answer or solution. I wish there was."
An anti-bulling assembly is planned for 3 p.m. Sunday on Washington Street in Brainerd. And the Brainerd School Board next meets on Aug. 10, where an expected topic is how to improve dialogue between the Board and the public.
Smith said she hopes anyone who is struggling with suicidal thoughts asks for help. Despite her grief, she’s willing to offer it.
“Anything to keep our babies still here on Earth," she said. "Because we don’t want to bury any more babies.”
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