GRAND RAPIDS - Writer Anne-Marie Erickson and her husband Dick Cain lived a simple and deliberate life in a log cabin they built together in the Northwoods. After increasing signs of memory loss beyond the levels of natural aging, Dick received a diagnosis of dementia, and Anne-Marie realized the two of them would need to build yet a new life.
Anne-Marie recounts their journey together in her new book In the Evening, We’ll Dance: A Memoir in Essays on Love & Dementia.
While the book provides insight into caring for a spouse as their health steadily declines, what really shines is Anne-Marie and Dick’s story of love, told through her compelling and lyrical voice.
Literature, philosophy, spirituality and art were touchstones in their lives and Anne-Marie drew on this to tell their story.
“It's like a tapestry in a way that incorporates what had made our lives together so rich all along... And I tried to create something that resembled that. It was the only way to stay sane in the middle of all of that, because things were falling apart. And so how do you hold it together? The best way I knew was to put words to it and try to make meaning out of it.”
Dick lived with dementia for 17 years. Anne-Marie noted, “I had 17 years of losing him and so I had 17 years to adjust myself to the fact that I would lose him.”
After years of taking care of Dick at home, Anne-Marie explained that the decision to finally move him into an assisted living facility would be one of the hardest losses for her.
“I think in a way that was even worse than his death because he was still alive. But he wasn't in our home anymore. And I felt like it was a betrayal of him in some ways, but I know he was at the point where I just could not help him stay safe in our home anymore.”
Dick passed away in 2015 and since, Anne-Marie has endured, noting, “As much as I miss him and as much as he was the love of my life and as much as I miss living in the light of his love--it's that light, maybe, that I'm carrying in the way in which I live in the world now.”
Learn more about Anne-Marie Erickson and her book here.
Anne-Marie Erickson is a fiscal year 2025 recipient of a Creative Individuals grant from the Minnesota State Arts Board. This activity is made possible by the voters of Minnesota through a grant from the Minnesota State Arts Board, thanks to a legislative appropriation by the Minnesota State Legislature and by a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts.
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