After school shooting in Minneapolis, respecting the survivor's journey

MINNEAPOLIS — The nation's eyes remain on Minneapolis following the deadly school shooting on Wednesday, Aug. 27. Amid the calls for action, some stress that people should learn authentic ways to talk with and support survivors, even when the spotlight fades.

Democratic leaders and parents gathered in Minneapolis on Thursday to renew calls to ban assault rifles. They echoed frustration over more innocent children losing their lives.

Journalist Justin Agrelo said it's important to make arguments using facts and data that these attacks shouldn't be a normal thing. But in a past project interviewing gun-violence survivors in Chicago, he said he also learned more about the "human" aspect following a tragedy.

"When someone experiences gun violence, it is the ultimate stripping of their agency, whether they were a direct survivor or whether they lost a loved one," he said, "or in the case in Minneapolis, if they lost a child or a sibling, they did not choose that."

Agrelo said survivors can get some of that agency back when peers and loved ones, or policymakers and support groups, respect their wishes about how to discuss their experience. He said it doesn't mean walking on eggshells around them – but rather asking if it's OK to bring up a specific aspect of their grieving. He also said people shouldn't make assumptions about what a survivor needs, and that checking first is best."

Teacher Abbey Clements is a survivor of the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting and co-founder of Teachers Unify to End Gun Violence. She strongly believes access to guns is a factor that can't be ignored. She also agrees there needs to be a healthy balance in how the public processes these tragedies.

"We know that statistics alone have not moved the needle," she said, "so we need to do better about creating space for stories."

Clements said her group aims to do that for educators, including the opportunity to speak anonymously.

Meanwhile, Agrelo said he hopes survivors aren't only called upon to share stories when there's a congressional hearing or a milestone anniversary. He also encourages the media and others to emphasize the accomplishments, interests and aspirations of those who died from gun violence.

"I think it's important to name not just how people died," he said, "but also how they lived."